Hello, again. After another hiatus (maybe I should change this blog name to “Sometimes I Write, with E”). None the less, I chose Easter Sunday as my day to write, reflect and catch up with myself.

Per my last entry, I was on a mission to advocate for my health, as we all should be doing. As time goes on, the more I learn that in order to fix one thing, you need to fix the hundreds of things that lead up to the one. This can be incredibly discouraging because a lot of the time, I feel as though no progress is being made. But, if “curing” mental health were a quick fix, we’d all be rich with exceptional happiness and unlimited optimism. So here I am, working with little optimism and temporary happiness but STILL getting somewhere.

A continued journey: year 27.

This year, I came to a tough conclusion that cutting hair, being a Barber, is most definitely not what I want to do for the rest of my life. For me, this career has allowed me to work alongside people who have inspired me to get better at my craft and support me along the way. Some of whom became friends and people that I can trust and continue to admire. Unfortunately, this job has also shown me the very ugly in people.

If you’ve worked in the service industry or any sort of customer service job, you know that people can be awful and to no fault of your own. I will never understand how people are justified in treating someone so terribly when they are providing a service to them. In my line of work, more specifically a female providing a service to men, I get to encounter men who clearly were not raised correctly. I’ve lived a crazy life so far and aside from my own anxious mind, not a lot will phase me in terms of what people say or do. I’m all ears when someone asks “Wanna hear something fucked up?” Absolutely, I do! But, there are things people will say that are so inappropriate to the point where I genuinely want to speak to their Mother and let her know what her fucking son just told me.

Sure, I catch them looking at my ass or down my shirt. They’ll ask a co-worker if I’m single to which they will respond, “Don’t bother, bro.” This doesn’t bother me, it’s to be expected. What does bother me is men thinking it’s appropriate to touch themselves while in my chair… but I won’t go into it.

I opened my own studio last year and worked alone for awhile. The idea was to get other barbers in there working with me but many factors wouldn’t allow and exactly a year later, to the day, I made the tough decision to close shop. This would be step one in leaving a career that I don’t care for anymore to find something I do love doing. Of course, the feeling of failure has been front and center in my mind but how could I possibly keep a business open in an industry that I don’t love anymore? Answer: I don’t. I talked about closing for several weeks but one day, I threw up my hands and made the decision and now that it’s done, I feel an incredible weight off of my shoulders. I take clients a couple days a week at a shop I used to work at but that’s it, it is no longer ALL that I do. This extra time has allowed me to take some online classes and catch up on the crafty stuff I neglected and was too overwhelmed to do, like writing. The most exciting thing I was able to pick up is working with horses again! Four days a week, I do general ranch work and take care of 3 horses and 2 ponies. It doesn’t pay well but it’s free therapy and I look forward to it every week.

This journey will be long and treacherous but making big decisions like this is part of it and I’m excited for what else life will bring. To those that’ll take the time to read this, thank you and remember to do whatever’s best for you.