It isn’t very often that you come across a person who exudes adventure and wisdom. Someone who is so incredibly thoughtful and funny or someone who can and does light up every room they walk into. A cliche’ but still so fitting.

A few years ago, I had the privilege of meeting this anomaly of a person. But before I had seen him, I spoke with him on the phone and his excitement to meet me was overwhelming. His voice was so eager; a pedestal came through the phone and appeared under my feet. 

I had already heard wonderful things about him. The adventures he had been on, the people he had met and the many accomplishments he earned throughout his life. He didn’t boast but he didn’t sound real, he seemed more like a myth or a legend. It couldn’t have been true but nonetheless, we had a dinner date planned and I was going to meet this suspiciously remarkable person. I was nervous. 

Outside of the restaurant, I watched each expensive car pull into the parking lot, anticipating his arrival. This man was a dapper fellow, high class. I expected a convertible of some sort, perhaps something electric or an obnoxiously pristine classic car. Instead, a zippy little Mini Cooper flew into the parking lot. Out pops out a smile, wide enough to fit a whole hamburger, ear to ear with the finest sport coat. 

Oh, boy.

Suddenly, my hands were in his hands followed by an unexpected kiss on each cheek. Quite the first impression.

We sat down, he flirted respectfully with our waitress and ever so enthusiastically ordered some wine. Then, like a plane taking off, I was engulfed in story after story about this man’s incredible life. His children, his wife, his work; my jaw was on the floor, trying to ask questions, and somehow missing the punchlines. Is this guy for real?

I even met the sad elephant that night!

We ate, we laughed, we talked about life. His excitement made me feel like the most important person in the room and to him, I was. His intrigue was intimidating but so obviously genuine.  

The night I met my father-in-law “R” was a night I will forever cherish. At that point, part of me had already known that I was going to marry his son. The admiration of his namesake helped seal the deal. Sure, a father is often biased towards his son, talking him up to the girl he’s in love with, hoping this one will stick. But it was as clear as that night’s sky that the overwhelming sense of pride he had in Tommy was limitless. 

The greatest force was their combined energy. My husband, also a suspiciously remarkable person, completely lit up when he was with his Dad. The glimmer in his eye gleamed to high heaven and the same infectious smile reached each ear; enough to fit a whole hamburger. It all made sense. No paternity test needed. 

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My father-in-law passed away on February 5, 2024 peacefully at home with his wife. After a surprise lunch visit from several of his best friends, he laid down for his forever sleep.  

This past weekend, I truly experienced the impact this man had on hundreds of people. Not surprisingly, his memorial spanned over two days with so much love. On the first day, a convoy of 10 or more boats departed into the San Francisco Bay. A sailor and former Staff Commodore of the San Francisco Yacht Club, was given a traditional sailor’s goodbye.

With his family aboard, they sent his ashes into the bay. A reception followed with hundreds of people who traveled from around the world, joining in the celebration of a legend’s life. It was truly an unbelievable sight. His existence was confirmed by the people who knew him best. 

Day two was a smaller affair but just as powerful. Among many other things, was also a fearless man who surfed. Surfing was a way to be free, to feel the power of the water that was so much larger than you could ever be and simply humbling your existence. Something I have no interest in.

R gave us a beautiful sunny day with a perfect surf. It was also my husband’s birthday and he, along with family and surfing friends, came together in the water and sent his ashes into the waves. A remarkable send off for a remarkable man. 

R’s love was genuine and unconditional. He loved life, his family, his friends, and anyone he encountered. His ability to connect with people on a level they’ll never forget is what makes him remarkable. Not only was R the light in the room, he was the room that everyone wanted to go into, to learn about, to see for themselves. It is not often that a person can be such a force in so many lives. While my time with him was short, I learned fast that he is not a myth, he is a true legend, a rightfully remarkable person. He will be greatly missed and forever loved.