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Are you the type of person who sees someone – whether online or in the wild – do or create something that you admire so deeply and feel an intense desire or potentially fixate on wanting to replicate it?

Throughout the pandemic and even now, I have started and stopped many different forms of what I consider to be hyper-fixation hobbies more times than I care to admit:

• Jewelry making; creating little stones out of epoxy and wrapping it with noticeably cheap wire to make something that is out of the ordinary. It was fun for a moment until I came to the realization that as someone who doesn’t wear ANY jewelry, I have no real drive to make things I won’t wear myself. I’m left with endless pieces of jewelry parts, pendants, and weird epoxy creations that hold entirely too much space in our storage room.
• Painting; no – just no. I tried to paint a portrait of my late paternal Grandmother and it turned out so terrifying; it reminded me of a haunted painting where the eyes follow you wherever you go. I miserably failed color theory in beauty school and cannot seem to grasp the concept of depths and shapes. Next!
• Candle Making; This has adapted into a more seasonal craft but I look forward to it every year. During the holidays, my house smells incredible. After hours of research into the endless types of fragrances, waxes, their toxicities, and finally finding the perfect jars; candles have become a great way to create a decently long lasting and relaxing item that everyone loves. My favorite part about making candles is thrifting for jars, mugs, and other receptacles. All to make into unique table toppers that smell like mossy rain forests or a field full of fresh Lavender and Bergamot.
• Sourdough; Oh boy, talk about a craft that pissed me off royally. I’ll preface by saying this – it was well worth it but holy shit, it was infuriating at times. At first, this bandwagon seemed to only fit trad folk or stay at home moms. Did I really need a bunch of bread loaves? Um, yes. And after entirely too many loaves that failed to rise or tasted like cardboard, I finally became addicted to that feeling of cutting into my first perfect loaf. Intoxicating is the only way I can describe it; I jumped, clapped, screamed, laughed, and likely bothered my husband about it for days – or at least until I made another successful loaf.
• Pottery; As a kid, I took a few pottery lessons from our neighbor who was a lovely woman and very gifted in throwing clay. It wasn’t something that I particularly grasped at that time but just over a year ago, I decided to give clay throwing a try. This likely came from seeing potters on social media create beautiful pieces. Most likely it was because I’m fairly positive that I have ADHD and this was just another hyper-fixation. My husband being my greatest supporter and number one fan, bought me a pottery wheel and I began throwing clay. Similarly to sourdough, throwing clay without taking a class on the basics was very aggravating at first. Not knowing the proper body and hand positions made for many wonky pieces and bountiful frustration. Thank God for YouTube… Somehow, I stuck to it and have been able to create some cool things.

Starting, and essentially giving up, on 2 out 5 of the above (which isn’t horrible), has yielded me the opportunity to dive a bit deeper into why…which is the goal, right?

Perfectionism, or obsessive-compulsive tendencies, can make life feel like an endless pursuit of control and stability. Sounds like me. Especially now with social media and the unrealistic expectations of beauty, fitness, having the most perfect life, blah – blah – blah, it makes for a challenging perception of what we I create. I can acknowledge the delusional portrayal of influencers who are phony and so out of touch with reality, but it’s still fair to grapple with seeing what a perfect product or life could look like and me not being able to replicate it.

The fear of failure is also prominent and paralyzing. I’m a comfort zone extraordinaire which means that I am good at convincing myself that if I don’t start something, I can’t fail at it. But in reality, avoiding something out of fear only guarantees that I won’t get a chance to succeed and robs me the opportunity to get good at something. Failure isn’t the real enemy but not acting on something that sparks your interest is. The willingness to start despite the uncertainty is pretty incredible.

Working with a natural medium like clay provides an opportunity to become grounded and move into a meditative state. With the rhythmic motion of the wheel, you’re basically becoming hypnotized and encouraged to be as present as possible – or you’ll mess up! Which is okay because clay can be reusable. Mistakes become part of the process and force you to be flexible, accepting, and optimistic. Removing that expectation, just as we should with people, also removes the potential for disappointment. The physicality of throwing clay is truly a full body and mind experience and yields many benefits.

In all realness, pottery is delicate and not very forgiving but it is a swift kick in the ass to remove the idea of perfection. Working with clay taught me how to get over myself, embrace unpredictability, and remove all those rigid expectations. Sure, a seasoned potter can make almost the exact same mug over and over but, where’s the fun in that?

Check yourself and do the damn thing!

E